On being "Gay" [People think I'm straight]

This would have been a pic of a guy wrapped in the

rainbow flag but, yet again, blogger failed to upload.

"It must be crap having to work in here if you're not gay, why do you do it?"
This is a verbatim quote from a punter, last night, in the place where I moonlight.
Dependent upon who it is that asks depends on if I tell them I'm "gay".
I'm not gay, I've never been gay. I've only ever described myself as queer. Yeah, I know it's only terminology but to me it makes a difference.

Gay, or more accurately "Gay's" are those over-moisturizer, over sun-bedded, fashion label clad, screaming, effeminate nonces who inhabit G.A.Y Bar, Shadow Lounge etc [and the shit-hole where I moonlight] etc,etc.

I'm not one of those.

Nor am I one of those leather / denim / plaid shirt wearing hair monsters.

Just because I take it in the arse does not mean that I have to align myself with one of the sets of clones who troll up and down Old Compton St.

Neither have I ever hidden my light [in terms of either my dick or my sexuality] under a bushel. I've never had any grief for being queer, despite working for the military for years or even in my present "occupation".

"Well it's fine for you, you're straight acting" was the response from one of my "gay" friends. I cannot think of anything more calculated to set my teeth gnashing then the mention of "straight acting". It's not an act, this is the way I am.

I've always tried to present the acceptable face of homosexuality [whatever that may be] by dispelling the common myths. I don't dress in women's cloths, I don't have the inclination or the figure for frocks. I don't lust after children, I loath children with a vengeance. I don't want to fuck every man that hoves into view [though some of them are well worth a poke].

So far, it's stood me in good stead, not always complete acceptance, but no grief. I must say though, I've never set out to make a crusade out of being "straight acting".

What it was that provoked me to write this, apart from this guys comment about being straight was that when he found out, he wanted to buy me a drink. I didn't accept because the manager of the bar doesn't let us drink while we're working. I explained this to the guy. Several times during the evening he offered but each time I had to turn him down. Anyway, come the end of the night, and kicking out time, and he button-holed me and gave me a miniscule piece of paper with his phone number on it.

"Will you ring me?"

"Probably not."

"Why?"

"Well, for a start off, I already have a boyfriend."

"You didn't tell me that before!"

Well so far, our conversation had been his asking me why I worked in a gay venue [when he thought I was straight], then the occasions of him offering to buy me drinks and now this phone number thing.

"So if having a boyfriend is for starters, what other reasons are there? It's because I'm black."

If in doubt, play the race card.

"Well, actually, yes."

Wow, if I'd known how quickly you could get rid of somebody by saying something like that, I'd have done it loads of times before.

It wasn't strictly true. I wasn't going to phone him because he's black, I was just never going to phone him full stop. Sadly, it's not a part of me, that I could have just taken the number, told him what he wanted to hear, and left it at that.

So, remember, you heard it here first. Gay doorstaff are racists.