I'm obsessed, apparently.

I suppose, thinking about it, it's true, I am obsessed,by

FAT BIRD!

There I was, having a quiet little bout of Tourettes type swearing and cursing to myself [about her] when my beloved said to me

"Your sole topic of conversation lately is her, did you realize that?"

Well, actually, I did. Although I've not quite reached the stage of following her around with a knife concealed in my clothing, that day is coming. Though it will have to be a fukin' big knife to get through her hide!

What had sparked tonight's little rant was this......

She made such a song and dance, yesterday, about going out this evening to a birthday party for "one of the most senior partners at the law firm where I work" [and that's exactly as she described it to me, in much the same way you would mention it to a total stranger, in a bragging / boastful sort of way]. I wouldn't mind but they were only going to Mash, [which she omitted to say] and which was posh for about five minutes, twenty years ago.

Oh! the food they were going to have........... and this "most" senior partner was going to pay for it!

Well, it's now just after midnight and she's been back about 15mins. Her first task on getting home was to dive into the kitchen, turn on the oven and bung in a family size cottage pie.

"How was the birthday party?" [not that I care]

"Oh, very nice, everybody was there"

"Where did you go?" [knowing full well where she went]

"A very nice little place just off Oxford St" [there are no nice places, little or otherwise, anywhere near Oxford St].

She then launched into a whole ramble [like this one] of inconsequences about who had says what to whom and how she had told so-and-so how they should do such-and-such.

And all the while the cottage pie cooks........

How she doesn't get indigestion, I don't know. Though with a belly her size, thank God she doesn't!