Doing people down.
[this is actually the third attempt at this posting, the first one didn't post, this blogger thing is shite, and that's before you get to the content!]
I feel like a shit.
I know that I can be, and often am, an obnoxious cunt.
I often make a point of saying things that I know will provoke people. I do this on purpose to get a rise out of them and / or score a point.
This never bothers me. My conscience does, though, prick me when I unintentionally impinge on somebody.
I can't define "impinge" other than.... if I've said something that has made somebody look inwards at themselves.
Well, I've done it again.
Doug, whose blog, Dewey's Dartboard, gave me a mention because of what I've written about my boyfriends niece, Fat Bird and how it had made him want to loose weight.
I don't hate and despise her because of her size, the fact that she is as big as she is, is just a hook to hang the hatred on.
The fact that I only ever mention the eating & size side of things doesn't give a true picture of the bitch. For instance, I never mention the fact that she only ever changes her bedding every couple of months. Or, that she uses a full toilet roll every day and is always blocking the loo / leaving huge big floating turds / skid marks etc, etc. Or even, that she only showers on average three times per week.
I can be unpleasant about her without having to descend to those depths, although I've done so now.
I don't have any qualms about being, well, truthfully, to her. Even to her face. I don't doubt that she can't help being big. Even as a child [I first knew her when she was 14] she was large. But, let loose on her own she's ballooned. Not that she's lazy. You couldn't even call the not washing side of things being lazy. If she was laying in her [festering] bed instead of washing, that would be lazy. But she isn't. She would be cooking. Like most females, she is in the premier league when it comes to shopping. Unlike most females, her brand of shopping is not for clothes, but for food. When she isn't shopping for it, she's cooking it. It really is like living in a fukin canteen.
Anyway, the gist of it is, I slag her off in an attempt to get her to change.
Never in my wildest nightmares did I imagine that it would make sobody else feel selfconscious. It wasn't the intention.
It's also not the first time I've ever done this. A previous occasion, many years ago, involved me and a friend, Rowena. We had been invited to a big fancy wedding. Gloves, hats, the lot. My outfit was easy enough, it only having a suit cleaned and my shoes shined. Her outfit was more of a problem necessitating the buying of a hat.
Now, contrary to popular belief, London is not the fashion capital of the known world. In fact, it's dire. We ended up in Selfridges, a non-to-cheap emporium altogether. Rowena was sitting at one side of a large mirror / table type thing trying on sundry different hats and sitting at the other side was a woman who had been blessed with the biggest nose ever. A full monty Roman [including bump] schnoz!
I distinctly remember saying to Rowena [in my non to quiet voice] "She shouldn't wear a hat like that with a nose like she's got".
Anyway, years pass..........
David and I were watching one of these shite things on the TV about plastic surgery and why people have things done etc, and the woman being interviewed was about to undergo Rhinoplasty.
"What's made you decide to have it done?" asks the interviewer.
"Well, I was always quite conscious of my nose but not really to bothered until I was in Selfridges one day trying on a hat. I heard somebody say "she shouldn't wear a hat like that with such a big nose", I was gutted."
My face fell.
David said to me "That's just the sort of thing you'd say".
Then he saw the look on my face.
"You didn't?"
Well, I can't be certain, but it is the sort of thing I would say and I do remember saying something similar.
I feel like a shit.
I know that I can be, and often am, an obnoxious cunt.
I often make a point of saying things that I know will provoke people. I do this on purpose to get a rise out of them and / or score a point.
This never bothers me. My conscience does, though, prick me when I unintentionally impinge on somebody.
I can't define "impinge" other than.... if I've said something that has made somebody look inwards at themselves.
Well, I've done it again.
Doug, whose blog, Dewey's Dartboard, gave me a mention because of what I've written about my boyfriends niece, Fat Bird and how it had made him want to loose weight.
I don't hate and despise her because of her size, the fact that she is as big as she is, is just a hook to hang the hatred on.
The fact that I only ever mention the eating & size side of things doesn't give a true picture of the bitch. For instance, I never mention the fact that she only ever changes her bedding every couple of months. Or, that she uses a full toilet roll every day and is always blocking the loo / leaving huge big floating turds / skid marks etc, etc. Or even, that she only showers on average three times per week.
I can be unpleasant about her without having to descend to those depths, although I've done so now.
I don't have any qualms about being, well, truthfully, to her. Even to her face. I don't doubt that she can't help being big. Even as a child [I first knew her when she was 14] she was large. But, let loose on her own she's ballooned. Not that she's lazy. You couldn't even call the not washing side of things being lazy. If she was laying in her [festering] bed instead of washing, that would be lazy. But she isn't. She would be cooking. Like most females, she is in the premier league when it comes to shopping. Unlike most females, her brand of shopping is not for clothes, but for food. When she isn't shopping for it, she's cooking it. It really is like living in a fukin canteen.
Anyway, the gist of it is, I slag her off in an attempt to get her to change.
Never in my wildest nightmares did I imagine that it would make sobody else feel selfconscious. It wasn't the intention.
It's also not the first time I've ever done this. A previous occasion, many years ago, involved me and a friend, Rowena. We had been invited to a big fancy wedding. Gloves, hats, the lot. My outfit was easy enough, it only having a suit cleaned and my shoes shined. Her outfit was more of a problem necessitating the buying of a hat.
Now, contrary to popular belief, London is not the fashion capital of the known world. In fact, it's dire. We ended up in Selfridges, a non-to-cheap emporium altogether. Rowena was sitting at one side of a large mirror / table type thing trying on sundry different hats and sitting at the other side was a woman who had been blessed with the biggest nose ever. A full monty Roman [including bump] schnoz!
I distinctly remember saying to Rowena [in my non to quiet voice] "She shouldn't wear a hat like that with a nose like she's got".
Anyway, years pass..........
David and I were watching one of these shite things on the TV about plastic surgery and why people have things done etc, and the woman being interviewed was about to undergo Rhinoplasty.
"What's made you decide to have it done?" asks the interviewer.
"Well, I was always quite conscious of my nose but not really to bothered until I was in Selfridges one day trying on a hat. I heard somebody say "she shouldn't wear a hat like that with such a big nose", I was gutted."
My face fell.
David said to me "That's just the sort of thing you'd say".
Then he saw the look on my face.
"You didn't?"
Well, I can't be certain, but it is the sort of thing I would say and I do remember saying something similar.
The thought that the possibility that something I'd said could have such an impact on somebody else's life was devastating.
Since then, I've always tried to be careful unless it's been directed at you know who.
posted by liits at 2:26 AM
4 Comments:
I was not upset with you! And I tend to be overly self conscious anyway. The post just made me sort of relflect on the kind of person that I am and how I affect other people, perhaps unknowingly. And sometimes you can unwittingly have a positive effect... as I am really trying now to eat better and lose some weight. You are one of my favorite blogs, that will not change!
XXXXXXXX [kisses]
Chris.
Heh, you kiss good for a "straight" guy...
Cheeky bitch! :-)
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