Sunday, July 29, 2007

Camden Town, parody people.


Do you remember the "Airport" films? Remember how every one had either a nun or a priest on the flight? I know that this was parodied in the Leslie Nielson films bit similar such things happen in real life too.

For those who live in London, if you've ever been silly enough to go to Camden Town by tube, have you ever noticed that there is always some prick with a guitar on the escalator?

Camden is perceived as being a musical place. I don't know why, any pub that you go into only ever has either a juke box or pre-recorded "musak" playing. I've only ever seen one person busking, so, what the hell is it with all the guitars?

It's an affectation, it has to be.

So, plea from a poor sod who wants to get home and can't get past you on the escalator,

Oi, Segovia, leave the banjo at home!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Film 4

I like Film 4, I'd like it a lot more if they would cut out the adverts, but still..., anyway, it's now gone down slightly in my estimation. Tonight, they're screening A Clockwork Orange. This is the shittiest film ever made. I think that Mr Kubrick [who couldn't have made a decent film, even had he lived forever] dropped a real clanger in attempting to turn such a shite book into any kind of film at all. For those who think it's a good film, maybe I missed something. Please, tell me what it is that makes this a "classic".

Saturday, July 21, 2007

"Emergency, which service do you require?"


The headline in today's Daily Mail was

THREE MONTHS' RAINFALL IN HOURS - 999NETWORK GRINDS TO A HALT

This melt-down, wash-out, call it what you will is caused by well meaning but stupid people with mobile phones.
In the past couple of weeks I've attended incidents where people, complete with a mobile phone, phone 999 when they can see that the emergency services are already in attendance. One of my colleagues was elbowed out of the way by some silly bitch who wanted to get a closer look at the 85 year old pensioner laying on the floor and all of this while she was phoning 999! Public spirited it may be, helpful, it is not. How did the country cope before the advent of the mobile? It did.
I propose that calls to the emergency services be barred from mobile phones. And before anybody complains that BT call boxes don't work, when was the last time you used one? They do work.


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Un-PC Parents

When I think of some of the "terminology" my parents used when talking to each other I have a quiet giggle to myself. Some of this phraseology, in the context in which they used it, was harmless enough. [Mam telling aunt Nell about some material she was thinking of buying to make a dress] "Well, I'll need to take the belt to make sure they'll go together"
"why couldn't you just tell him [the man on the market stall]"
"how do you explain nigger brown to a bloody Pakistani?"
Nigger brown, as far as my mother was concerned, was in the same colour palate as pillar box red, bus green [Leeds buses were, then, dark green] or salmon pink. When it came to the question of race, she would never dream of using the N word. They were wogs. All Asians were Pakistani, even if they may have come from India, and orientals were all Chinese [though at the time, they probably were].
When it came to a persons creed, that too was open season for Mam and Dad, especially Dad, who was completely un-religious himself.
"A right Jewess faced looking woman" [though never, a Jew. He never seemed to denominate "Jewish" looking men]. "Irish looking" or even "Foxy faced Irish bugger" was another. At the height of the troubles in Northern Ireland, the TV news often showed funerals followed by hundreds of mourners. They would be "Catholic faced sods" [regardless of the fact that they may have been protestants!] This never upset Mam, who was a staunch Catholic, [as opposed to Dad who was, nominally, C of E] but was a big hitter when it came to loathing the Irish. "No bloody Irish in our family" so I guess, somewhere way back, the Philips' must be converts.
Dad would have had a field-day with one of our latest celebs, Ms Winehouse. Her pic was in the Evening [sub] Standard today. Boy does she have a "Jewess face". Unsurprisingly enough, she is Jewish. When planning this post I looked for a pic of the gobby chanteuse and found a stunner...


On the left is a recent pic of Ms Winehouse, and a right Jewess she looks too! On the right, a pre-fame pic where, I'm sorry to say this, she looks like a Jewish princess [my terminology] and hopefully, less offensive but no less true. Looks like the apple realy never does fall far from the tree after all.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Doom, Gloom & Dispondancy

I don't know what it is with me lately, I just can't be bothered. I can't be bothered to do most things. Blog, respond to blogs, finish the kitchen, socialise with friends, being "nice" to arseholes who think that they are friends but aren't etc, etc. Hence, my posts have been a bit few and far between. The one uplifting moment was finding that tonight was the First Night of the Proms and the second piece being Elgar's cello concerto. I needed a good cry.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

A Racist Post

At heart, we're all bigoted in some way or other. I'm not a fan of certain oriental people. Three oriental persons I hate with particular venom. The little cunt who comes in the pub selling crappy DVD's, Lucy Lui and Gok Wan.
I've never met Ms Lui and I'm sure that she is quite a nice person but she looks like a bad drawing done by a child. The Bride of Wildenstien is mocked for the way her eyes look [and rightly so] but Ms Lui is considered to be a beauty. Figure that!
My next object of hatred is Gok Wan. I've had the dubious pleasure of being in the same room as this talentless prick and I'm still amazed at my self control. I'm not a fan of prissy, faggy, Dolce & Gabbana type queers. I hate little glasses with thick frames and this cunt ticked both boxes.

Oh, and another thing....... every time he's on the TV [which is tooooo fuckin' often] he's always pulling this stupid face, it's the look adopted by all such "how FABULOUS am I?" crowd. I rejoyce in the knowledge that orientals all have small dicks. Next time, self control can go back in its box....

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Pride Parade

Saturday 30th June saw the Pride London parade. I must be getting old because I can remember when it was called Gay Pride. Of course, "Gay" doesn't encompas all the other sexual deviants so I guess that's why the name was changed.
Anyway, we [in terms of the pub] had a float in the parade. Here are some photos of the event.

[back row l-r] Thy, David, Jim, Sheila Bliege, Paul, Wade

[front row] Brooks, Ben

Fools Dancing. This is at the turn from Regent St into Picadilly Circus.


Jim & Paul. Paul's feet were bleeding by the end of the day.

Sheila Bliege, the baddest fairy in Hampstead.


There are lots more photos, I'll put the rest on Flickr.




Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Sound advice!

Here is some advice from the recently cobbled together association of the RSPCA and the Pan-London Lesbian Alliance....

Save more mice, eat more Pussy!

Monday, July 02, 2007

Trashed!

Post Gay Pride, or Pride London as it is now called, I'm feeling a tad fragile.

When my hangover subsides I'll post some pics. Meanwhile I found a pic of one of our flyers discarded somewhere in Soho.