Arty Farty

Peace has finally descended on the house. David, complete with the troop of fools from downstairs in the pub, has gone away to Blackpool for the weekend.
After the events of the past few days I’m glad to see the back of him [I’m glad to see the back of him at almost any other time too]. After living in the place for nearly two years, Dave decided that he wanted to put up some of the pictures that we just never got around to putting up when we moved in. In the last flat, we had loads of room thus, lots of wall space. Here, it’s like living in a small box and the bookcases line most of the walls.
For some unaccountable reason, David decides that the staircase is a good place to hang pictures and he started with his favourite and my most hated picture, the Creation of Adam.

Never send one fool to do another fool’s job. Had I stuck to this tenet, we would never have ended up with this vile object of a picture.
I had wanted something to go across the end wall in the living room in the house and, foolishly, sent David out with the instruction as to which print to buy. I didn’t see the picture until we had taken it back to Ireland, had it framed and I went to collect it [it previously having been rolled up in a cardboard tube], needless to say, it wasn't the print that I wanted.
I don’t think that the woman in the shop was very impressed with my reaction. Not only to the picture itself but also to the size. It’s eight feet by four. When installed in the living room it looked like a fukin’ alter piece! After selling the house, we brought it back to London and it lived behind the door in the spare bedroom, never to be hung again, until Thursday.
Also seeing the light of day is my very own Mondrian.

above: Sidney, the art critic.

I actually made this picture to hang in the bathroom. The idea started out as a bit of a laugh. In the previous pub, we had a big roof terrace above the staff accommodation. At one end, actually the adjoining building, was a large blank wall. I painted a mural on it, after the style of Mondrian. I used the paint I had handy, two different shades of blue and silver. This caused no end of complaints from the BBC offices next door. Their offices overlooked our roof terrace and they didn’t like the fact that Mondrian had had his work plagiarised with such crap colours! They weren’t keen on the nude sunbathing either.
Following on from the mural came the smaller version for the bathroom. I’ve no idea where Dave intends putting the picture, it was made for a particular colour scheme which we don’t have anymore. At the moment, I dread to think….