Regrets, I've had a few....

Recently, there's been a series on the TV about Royal Marine Commandos. I watch anything military that's on the telly. I suppose that it's because, even after all these years, I still regret not signing up. I did though, do what I thought was the next best thing and work for the military as a civvy [civilian].

The reason I never signed on the dotted line was that I always knew that I was gay / queer and, at the time that I left school and jobs were hard to find and loads of my mate were going into the army, RAF, navy, I didn't have the courage of my convictions when it came to saying "No" when asked if I was a practicing homosexual.

So, I never joined up.

I did, though, work, and for lots of years , for the MOD as a civilian, working alongside the forces. But watching these things on the TV, combined with the deregulation against gays in the military, makes me yearn for what I knew I could [then] never have done. Only because of what I did in bed.