Christmas is coming

As the nursery rhyme goes.....

Christmas is coming

the goose is getting fat......

and that's where the whole thing goes tits. The current outbreak of "Bird Flu" may mean a shortage of turkeys, geese and ducks this Christmas. So the old bird won't be getting fat, it'll be getting incinarated.

I'm not particularly worried by this as we never have turkey at Christmas anyway. Last year, two of my friends bought a goose for Christmas [to eat, you understand, not as a pet]. £60 they paid for this damnable bird and by the time it was cooked and all the fat drained off of it, it was about the size of a small canary. We were invited for tea on boxing day with the promise of goose remnants. Not the most tempting offer in the world, but the company promised to be good, and I'd never had goose before so, off we went. Well, the goose was fine but I wouldn't rush off to pay sixty quid for one.

Generally, for Christmas dinner we have beef. With the impending slaughter of millions of poultry in the run-up to Christmas, I can see beef being expensive. Christmas shopping may start early for me this year.