I know I’ll probably get some stick for this but, at the time I couldn’t help having a little giggle…
Reading in the papers [that would be the Mail on Sunday and the News of the World] that five little beloveds, of the most devoted parents, [that means five Burberry wearing, kid spawning, low-life] had been killed while being chased in their stolen car by the Old Bill, well, I can only say that it they should be posthumously awarded a police commendation for saving police time.
Loads of my colleagues must be jumping for joy at the loss of the little darlings, think of all of those MG11’s that won’t have to be filled in while the sweethearts sit and tell you “No comment”, all of that queuing in the post office for family allowance / child benefit that won’t have to be done, all of those prams, knicked from Mothercare, pushed around St Leonards…….
I, or rather, we, have just such a little bunch in King’s Cross. The youngest is 12, the oldest is 15. They are known [to us], as being renowned for knicking scooters & push-bikes. One I’m thinking of in particular relieved a vicious head wound in August due to one of my colleagues seeing him riding a [stolen] scooter without a helmet. He had the foresight to 1. Shout his name [not much of a deterrent] 2. Throw his personal radio at him, catching him just behind the ear. The second action caused him to become un-balanced and fall to the ground [doing 40mph] thus doing some amount of damage to his head and elbows! Well worth the bollocking he got for knacking the radio! But not worth the amount of waiting around for the ambulance and subsequent form filling he had to do.
Had he killed him it would have been more paperwork on the day but less work in the long-run.
Long live the high speed chase!
