Feeling Sick

There isn’t much that shocks me. The things that do, tend to be the really small, trivial things I may see on TV or read in the newspaper.
Well, today I was shocked. Thinking about it, I was disgusted, not shocked.
I spent most of today working with the boyfriend of one of my former colleagues.
We had the joy and pleasure of helping out at an event in Trafalgar Square [joy and pleasure is actually a joke, it was grindingly dull].
The event was National Children’s Art Week or something [that’s how much interest I took] and one of our tasks was to be on the lookout for people taking photos of children. By that I mean people who were not the Childs parent / guardian, you get the gist of it.
Well, this is the age of the digital camera, zoom lens, mobile phone with camera etc and believe you me, EVERYBODY had a picture-taking device of some type or other. Luckily, we did manage tosspot one very suspicious guy, warned him and finally kicked him out of the square [as per usual, there wasn’t a copper in sight and we don’t have the authority to detain people so we had to watch him walk [having first taken his picture]. This we passed to the Old Bill when we finally found one].
This is skirting the issue coz I’m not sure how to put this.
[Back to the former colleagues boyfriend and some background history so that it all makes sense].
The former colleague, known to one and all as Psycho – coz he was – could never take his eyes off of young boys. Not young as in toddlers, but young as in twelve or thirteen years old. Now I look at guys as they go past, show me the gay man who doesn’t and I’ll show you David Blunkett, but boys don’t do it for me. I like my men to have a source of income and be able to buy a round in the pub [an added bonus is if they have access to their own drug dealer!]. Children, I like them too. Id like them a whole lot more if they could cook and clean, but they tend to be few and far between so, hence, kids don’t light my light.
Psycho once tried to reconcile his “fixation” to my with the line
“I don’t see what’s wrong with it, I knew, at that age, what I wanted so I’m sure that the do too”
Well, I couldn’t argue with the personal truth of it. I can remember vividly that I wanted [what I then thought of as sex] when I was that age. What I can also remember was who it was with too, and I know for a fact that it didn’t include, involve or in any other way concern any old bastard in fact, at the time, my definition of old [past it] was anybody in the year above at school!
Back to Psychos boyfriend.
Trafalgar square, being, for some unknown reason, one of London’s major tourist destination, tends to be full of people and with the Children’s Art thingy being on, quite a proportion of them were kids. Added to this were several large groups of Scouts, one of the groups wearing kilts –can’t imagine where they were from!
Well, the sight of them must have tipped the boyfriends sensibilities over the edge. He was virtually drooling [and that was only the one body fluid emission we could see!].
“Wow, look at that. Fukin hell, which one would you start with?”
I’m not sure if it was a rhetorical question or if he was really asking me.
To say that I was disgusted was an understatement. I couldn’t even tell him to fuck off. I just stood looking at him in……. I don’t know what.
I don’t know if he thinks that eyeing up boys is the norm for Gay men. Probably he does. Think about it, his boyfriend, Psycho, thinks that way, he obviously does, so again obviously he thinks that I do too.
Well, I don’t.
I don’t usually care if somebody sees me eying up another guy [think about it, your average builder doesn’t care if anybody or everybody sees them eying up some female]. Nor do I particularly care if somebody overhears me passing a comment about a guy I’m looking at, though I am quite cautious in straight or mixed company, even if they know I’m gay. But NEVER, fukin EVER would I pass a comment like that.
If he’s so open with things like that and [and this sounds like I’m covering for him] is so unguarded with his thoughts / comments, then it’s small fukin wonder that lots of people still think that all gay men are kiddie fiddlers or wear women’s clothing.
Each to their own and all that bollocks doesn’t count in this instance, it’s just sick.
I was so sickened that I told the boss. She already knew the score with Psycho; he’d made it so openly known [if that makes sense]. But she didn’t know that the boyfriend was “that way inclined” meaning interested in boys, she knew he was gay. I know it sounds a bit parsimonious but I don’t think its safe to have him doing events like that and told her so. She agreed. Now I’m starting to ramble and am getting off of the plot so I’ll leave it, but you get the drift of things.